Some recent threads (eg. Gay Marriage, Medical Marijuana, Tattoos etc.) have revealed some very closed minds. Another thread that I started on ethical behaviour, titled the Golden Rule, didn't stimulate much discussion but one response expressed disapointment that the thread wasn't discussing golden showers.
Well, I have, on the rare occasion, participated in water sports, from the neck down only. Then ofcourse there's scat which is not for me. Also not for me is pain but there are enough BDSM aficionados on RHP to comment on that.
My question (finally) is how much is too much? Are you able to accept others inspite of what they're into, as long as they don't force it on you, or are some activities the deal breaker and you won't even want to know that person?
When they hurt others..........spouses, children, animals.
My line is drawn there
I am also a kinky gal so hardly a prude and someones kink may not be for me but i can still accept the person and not the kink.
Good Post. I've known people who come to play in the BDSM arena with all sorts of rules and No-Go areas, only to have them effortlessly and gracefully pushed aside to explore things they thought they would not like.
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Having said that, and in regard to 'Forcing Issues/Acts upon others', this is an area where full consent and respect have to be well in place. Forcing erotica is not the answer but persuasion and suggestion may be acceptable.
A specific Act found 'Dis-Taseful' can be an inquiry into a specific part of the act and the generosity from one to another can be given to allow some play in that act.
Alternatively, saying "No Way am I going to be that way with anyone at any time, anywhere" or similar should be enough to clearly get your point of view across (without abusive profanity and putting down of someone and their personal preferences)
The way I see it, you can't expect other people to have respect for your choices and lifestyle if you can't respect theirs especially if they are not choices you'd make. As long as you're consenting ADULTS and you really are into whatever it is then make hay while the sun shines. But if someones being manipulated into a scene they don't want to be a part of then that's a deal breaker for me.
...anything that is within the realm of sanity as I define it as being intolerable, and more so nothing that would compel me to play in or play out that I am not responsible for at all times. I know what I like...you know what you like, and within the framework of a very simple psychometric lie "the four windows" of our lives. I like exploring the fourth window...the things I don't know about me and you don't know about me, that's were we grow as people. As for the rest, good luck on trying to get me to accept the intolerable...even as an excuse, let alone a reason.
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Now the only thing that really does shit me sideways...why do people say "you must be D&D free". It seems rather contrite to write off decadence and debauchery before we have even met...so I guess you just crossed the line.
Time to get moving...there's always a roast to attend on Sunday.
I consider myself to be very open-minded. As James and goodgirlz says, I think I accept the person without feeling the need to necessarily accept the kink. I have a personal line in the sand that separates me from being okay with most of the other things the people above have mentioned, ie. beastiality, paedophilia, necrophilia and other morally and societally illegal behaviours but that doesn't mean my open mind doesn't sometimes wish I could understand what drives participation in these activities from a psychological point of view.
Oh and whilst golden showers don't bother me too much, poo does. I don't like scat. And prolapse porn. I don't like that either!
Flirty x
Consusual and Uncoerced.
Immoral is only an opinion of the majority.
some activities are deal breakers...of course.... and they dont even need to be sexual.....or even illegal...marital or relationship status is a deal breaker... smoking is a deal breaker.... drugs are deal breakers.... genital piercings are deal breakers..... and anyone into scat, toilet games, and the like....has broken the deal... age is a deal breaker.... race can be a deal breaker........ some of these things are preferences...and its nothing to do with prejudices...its about attraction...or lack of.... which is, of course, the single criteria that must be satisfied, before thought of play is even suggested......
I can accept others liking things that I dont. I dont like certain foods but others eat them. It is basically the same principle and I do know my own limits so am very aware without the need to try what I would and wouldnt enjoy sexually . This doesnt mean that I can not accept that another person may enjoy that particular past time.
Some I realy do struggle with understanding why and I find that those are the ones that I need to ask endless questions about in order to try and understand the attraction but I dont think any less of another person because THEY may like what I dont.
Agrees
In short....To me the words that come to mind are "mutual respect" and consenting adults...legal..
Have a Good 'un
And one that did make me stop and think...
Ah...It was all so black and white in my 20's and 30's ...my how it changed when I hit my 40's....my strong opinions so weakened by life and what if had offered up...
I always considered myself to be "open minded" (8 years at Uni really does make you a idealist and then you graduate !!!) ...but truly I had no idea, until I was introduced to the world of BDSM in my early 40's, where my mind, thoughts and pre conceived ideas were challenged and broaden.....it was a scarey, thrilling yet intoxicating journey where I was introduced to many new ideas, concepts and issues.....I found activities and had thoughts that I now love and embrace and yet found other things that truly repulsed me and are and will always be deal breakers to me......we all have our own moral "line in the sand" , our deal breakers, our no go zones...and our stances should never be compromised...my list is pretty much the same as other posters.......but.........you never truly know how you will react to any given situation until you are confronted.....ever
I have no problem with anyone that has a kink...its not a deal breaker for me...Im always interested in what drives their passion,desire, behaviour for this kink...I mean define kink ????..I find it fascinating as long as I dont have to participate in something I do not agree with...I am open to their desires and always curious by their motivation for such a practice ...
Interestingly just recently I was informed of this scenario and for reasons even now..this situation bothers me.....and I cant quite put my finger on why..as it does not touch me in any personal way
A guy I know recently had a full on relationship with his step sister.......it was a holiday fling that continued on for some time....they lived on different continents and did not grow up in the same household..yet conversed via email etc thru the years and met up on holidays for the first time, when he flew to home to his country of birth to see his enstranged parent....they were both adults, nothing they did was illegal or immoral....and to be honest....it ended badly, cause he cheated on her...this along with the fact that they were together caused a huge family riff...(while they were together they did not inform the family, which I found interesting.....I wonder why but I do not know why they told no one)
When I heard this story, I had a instant reaction..I too was horrified...yet to be honest I dont know why...I just thought it was "wrong" yet logic told me it wasnt immoral or illegal - the female got hurt by his cheating...but hey that happens everyday...my original thought was that there are 7 billion people in the world..half female, could you not find someone else to play with.???...when I relayed this story to others..most agreed with my thinking, but a few said.."Whats the problem ?"..so therein my thinking was challenged.... the family rift continues to this day, as I said, it ended badly and all parties are still bitter about the fallout...
Ye the thought of golden showers, scat etc, although not a turn on for me...doesnt bother me either....go figure !!!
I am so sorry Jenny! I hadn't seen you ask me until now! It's beyond yuck, isn't it? I practically threw up on the spot when a certain someone (who will remain nameless until he turns up and takes great amusement in having collectively horrified all of the people who now go and Google it) showed it to me. I am now on the search for something equally gross or better to repay the favour, so welcome any ideas!
It's horrific though, isn't it?
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Apologetic Flirty x
... Maybe if we just stop talking about it, it will go away. With any luck, I will eventually purge the horror and I can go back to pre-prolapse horror!!!