HOT or NOT - Young 'Single Mothers' (time to ditch the stigma, please!)

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HOT or NOT - Young 'Single Mothers' (time to ditch the stigma, please!)

Aug 19, 2012
honeybee0086

Well, here goes...

My first post on a subject which is entirely relevant to me and my experiences thus far in the online and real life dating realms.

Are guys instantly turned off when a young, attractive woman mentions the C word... no not that C word, I refer to the other apparently repulsive C word  'children'.

So I'm 26, divorced, 2 young kids and not looking for anything serious... that underlined part doesn't seem to matter, most guys I've told about my children have flipped their shit and run a mile, usually it's revealed when I can't catch up on a whim because I have my babies to look after. I'm out to have some fun, not husband hunting. Having children means I have to plan things, spontaneity goes out the window for a while (or at least until my weekends off!)

 

Anyway, so I can't hide the fact I have kids, even if I wanted to. I have a 'damaged' body for want of a better term and their names are tattooed on my back.  I'm not ashamed of them, I am proud to be their mother; but more and more I find it a hinderance to my chances of being a lover as well. I'm not defined by being a mother, I don't go out and say "Hi, I'm J and I have two children, aged 3 and 2, how are you?" - It is a massive part of my life but not who I am entirely.

 

So guys, younger guys in particular, what's the dealio? Is a single mum/MILF/procreating superwoman a huge turn off or is it ok? Be honest, explicit in why it's a turn off, I need to avoid people like that obviously! You can't and won't offend me.

Aug 19, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
ElementGC   Couple Man 42yrs Woman 31yrs

Guys perspective....

Honeybee,

As if you havent figured us out already, males are a weird species.

Some will have issues with it, and others wont. 

This is a sex site, and not RSVP or Match.

Motherhood is part of who you are and there are many men who will embrace that....but only as long as you do first.

I suggest you put a few more sentences in the "looking for" part of your profile.  Take the sentences out of your post above even, but let them know you cant catch up on a whim because you have children, and that your out to have some fun, not husband hunting.

Women on this site are usually bombarded with flirts and email.  This way the only guys approaching you already know what your looking for from them :)

Good luck....and let us know how you go!




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Araps   Couple Man 38yrs Woman 35yrs

Wrong demographic

for the post as have kids myself so and can completely understand where you are coming on a logistical effort on getting time to go out and them being massive yet not defining you as a person.
Yes, there are plenty of guys at that age who won't want someone with kids or go there at that stage of there life. Is just how it is I think. What I can say is though is, your by far from damaged :)
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TongueCramps   Couple Man 38yrs Woman 34yrs

Wish we had the answer...

Well, we're a couple, so can't comment on behalf of single guys, but for us none of the things you mention would be an issue.  Could just be that a large proportion of people on here don't follow through, and the kids may just be the convenient excuse they use? Rockin bod by the way, from the photos on your profile!
Aug 19, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
DickInABox   Man 28yrs

well

you get milf status.. so hot? lol
Aug 19, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Hesione

I agree

with Mrs P,you don't have to reveal everything about yourself if you are not seeking a serious relationship.There are also young men here who are divorced single dads,I imagine they would exprience similar problems.

Most people have scheduling problems ,whether it is to do with family  or work  committments,few are available 24/7.

As for the tattoos ,I have a tattoo on my shoulder,and have never been asked about it yet.I think you will find most men tend to be distracted by others aspects of your body and are quite incurious.However if someone asks ,give a simple and  to the point explanation such as, they are the names of your children who you have shared custody of.That tells the questioner that you are not looking for a father for them, because they already have one.

You are an attractive young women OP and I hope you find what you ar looking for here.x Hugs H

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Manly_McHardon   Man 43yrs

Well I dunno 'bout the young ones,

Quoting 'Hesione'
   

with Mrs P,you don't have to reveal everything about yourself if you are not seeking a serious relationship.There are also young men here who are divorced single dads,I imagine they would exprience similar problems.

Most people have scheduling problems ,whether it is to do with family  or work  committments,few are available 24/7.

As for the tattoos ,I have a tattoo on my shoulder,and have never been asked about it yet.I think you will find most men tend to be distracted by others aspects of your body and are quite incurious.However if someone asks ,give a simple and  to the point explanation such as, they are the names of your children who you have shared custody of.That tells the questioner that you are not looking for a father for them, because they already have one.

You are an attractive young women OP and I hope you find what you ar looking for here.x Hugs H

   
but I'm a divorced single dad and yeah, I get the same.  Prolly more so 'cos I don't get any time off.
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tuscanred   Woman 60yrs

mixed messages

I had a look on your profile it says romance, dinners that kind of thing.

You also have 14 hunks on your friends list, so that may intimidate some nice not so hot guy who may want to wine you and dine you.

 

 

Kids can be an issue a some guys do not want the complication and also would not want to get to meet your kids under any circumstance, especially if all they want is to bonk the yummy mummy.

 

children do make men think of that other c word, commitment.

 

 

Just go to the pub if you want to get laid, your pretty just find a bar stool

and they will come.

 

 

I am sure you are doing very well , I had to wipe my chin from drool when I looked at your friends list.

 

Aug 19, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
perthbi21

Young Single Mum

Usually guys know up front that I am a single mother. The only times I have had problems with it is when I reject a guy and then they get all offended so they take a stab at me about how "single mums can't afford to be fussy"... yet me being a single mum didn't seem to bother them until I rejected them lol.

Honestly if they aren't OK with me being a single mum then they aren't someone I want to hang out with/fuck anyway as they are usually closed minded, immature and ignorant.

Children can be compared to "work commitments" in the sense that a lot of people can't meet up randomly due to work commitments and need to plan ahead, just like those with children.

Hmm would like to hear the guys points of view.
Aug 19, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
diwata

Being a single momma

If being a single mom is an issue for a guy, then he's missed out on knowing a hot momma like you.

I too have kids - I don't do any meeting nor lovin' when I have my kids.  I do tell the people that I am chatting to when I am available (mostly a week or so away) and see if they still want to meet.  If they say no - then its cool; if they say yes - then great!  I know the spontaneity of it all is gone, but that's the way it is.

Doesn't answer your question but there are plenty of men on here that being a single mom is a non-issue for them.






Aug 20, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Ghostbusters

Well...

It's like this....as far as I can see, as Mischievious said if they can't accept you as a mother, then they can't accept you as a lover.  Me personally, I would choose a mother over those that aren't, unless they are a very switched on person.  The reason for this, is you don't need to explain how things work, you don't need to train them into thinking about things other than getting their rocks off.  Not that's a bad thing but simply, they come with maternal or paternal instincts of a natural sense, not just because they want to have some fun. Chris
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Naughty4sex

Single mums

Hot hot hot!! Mums are real woman single or not :P
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zoe69r   Man 47yrs

the "c" word

well as a single guy i dont have any problems meeting a lady with children , i mean who dosnt have some form of baggage theses days . and there is nothing wrong with being a single mum with kids they are people to and need someone in their lives as well even if its a fwb or it turns into more
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goldcoastcple69   Couple Man 39yrs Woman 28yrs

???

as a guy i cant understand why guys would run away just becuase u have kids.. for a start ur very attractive.. even when i was 20 , if a hot lady like yourself was interested , even if she had 10 kids , i wouldnt of said no .. some blokes are too weird.

id say just keep trying , its a big world and there are plenty of normal blokes out there without issues.. i saw your pics you really do look hot ..i think you should change your body type from average to sexy..

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Smilingwithfun   Man 53yrs

Agree

I am in the same situation as and agree with mischevious lad. As far as some do a runner,think positive,probably way to immature and you have saved yourself some grief.Probably all about themselves & thats how they would be in bed.Possibly aim for the higher end of your age profile,to find someone more in touch with reality. Love the RED DRESS.
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Cassandra_Jayne   Woman 33yrs

Honeybee

You are absolutely gorgeous - as DG pointed out! ... Honey you are a mum, if any man doesn't want you because of that pfffft who cares ... I mean really, would we want to sacrifice anything that is essentially us for a man ... Mmmm NO! ... Even thinking about those who don't want you leaves you closed to those who do ... Relax, don't even think about it ... And you might be surprised... And if I can say; be really simple and clear in yourself what you want - and you'll get it... Kisses Cassandra x
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Dragonfyre2010   Woman 55yrs

Everything's perfect!

While you may think you are damaged goods you are far from it, it is a perfect situation to sort the men from the boys, there are guys out there that would jump at the chance knowing there is nsa but respect the fact you have the courage to lay it all on the line and those that run aren't really worth your time and effort.  Respect yourself always

Aug 20, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post

Two things..

Children can be a problem if your casual lovers thing starts to move into something more serious. 

For two years I dated a wonderful woman who's two children were fighting over her attention.  While we were shag buddies I did not even notice this.  9 months later, we fell in love and it became a real drama.

In the end I'd not visit her at her place as I'd just get constant verbal attacks.  Even open threats of physical violence on two occasions.  In the end I voted with my feet.

The other thing..

I don't know about other men, but there is something really special about being inside a pussy that's given birth.  I can't put my finger on it, but it really gives me shivers thinking about it.

~waves back from the gutter~
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Cassandra_Jayne   Woman 33yrs

Damaged!! WT??

You have miracle lines honey!! xx
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xFunlovingx   Woman 52yrs

HoneyBee

Trust me, this has NOTHING at all to do with you being a single mother. This has to do with you not dropping EVERYTHING to go and root them...In their mind it is "How dare you pick ANYTHING over my cock"! Don't let them get to you hun..They really are not worth getting your Golden Ticket!

Hugs...xFunlovingx

Aug 20, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
FabbriB

Why

I think that your children are an important part of you.

Why should this became a problem?

If you met guys that cannot understand this.... they are missing something. Not you.

Be proud of yourself, as you are.

With the "whole package" !!!

 

I wish you the best....

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