Hi Abheya

There is this rather facinating theory out there about how humans are programmed to ensure that their genes are carried into the next generation that goes like this.

The male works by numbers, i.e. the more copies of his genes he gets out there (sperm) the more chances he has of getting his genes continued.  Thus he is programmed to get his genes into as many places as possible (sex with as many partners as possible!)

The female cannot do this so she has to protect her copies to ensure that they reach maturity, i.e. she has to nurture her children.  To do this effectively she needs to procure a partner to help protect and feed her and her brood.  The twist to all this is that the female is also programmed to ensure she is impregnated by strong virile men who may not necessarily be good providers so in effect she is programmed to cuckhold her provider! 

So we are programmed to form bonds and partnerships but we are also programmed to swing!!

On a personal level we have been together for 13 years now and swinging has only made us closer.

hi Mrs and I have been together for about 14ish yrs and we have just start this type of life style about 3 yrs ago. Thru those 3 yrs we have felt that our realationship has grown stronger eerytime we have played.. We have now find a very lovely and wonder single lady who we play with but the bond between us and this wonderful laady is also there, but e dont c our realationship caming apart due to we talking about everything and keep nothing from each other and also know our limts and rules. We also have played with guys to n these nothing thats caming between me and my wife. Mr Ballinacpl

Looking at things from a more scientific viewpoint, sex causes our brains to produce significant amounts of Oxytocin which cause a "bonding".  Hormone influences on their brain are significnatly more complex than males in that their brains are set to chose the "best male" for offspring as stated by Lord & Lady's post.  The male brain in its absolute soaking in testosterone has a single aim of being that "best male".  There are two books written by Louann Brizendine (The Female Brain and The Male Brain - yes it actually does exist!!!!) that explains some complex brain influences between the sexes in good and easy to read terms.

Its a good way to see the difference between Venus and Mars.  In very shor terms, the bonding after sex is meant to ensure that there were two to look after the resultant offspring (remembering that sex was originally meant to produce offspring instead of being a ton of continuous entertainment).

Anyway, I hope this helps in your plight.

couples that play TOGETHER stay together

:>

lets face it the reason marriages usually fail is it becomes BORING.

no one stays fresh and exciting for 20 years..

introduce swinging :

new friends, new scenarios, new positions, new adventures...lots of laughs

all good

A lot of marriages end because someone got bored or felt unappreciated and goes looking for love or lust elsewhere.  With swinging and open relationship the chance that people will get bored is greatly reduced. My partner and I have been together 10 years and swinging for 3 year and the last three years have been the happiest and the most fun.  play together or play and talk afterwards is better then cheat and go behind someone's back.

Maybe swinging isn't for everyone..but we can only give our experience. We have been together since '96..married in 2001. In our previous marriages neither of us were in this scene. We started talking about this stuff two weeks into us getting together but nothing happened for three years (mainly due to not knowing where to find it it..we didn't know about clubs & were not on the net). The first experiences "just happened" with friends over 10 years ago. After that taste, we wanted more..so we found contact mags, then clubs & then the net. We haven't looked back and no matter how many people we play with we always know that each other is number one...we're crazy about each other!!  We have absolutely no jealousy issues..that is an evil emotion. We have total trust in each other..without that..being in this scene cannot work.

So..in response to your initial question/thoughts....yes a swinging relationship CAN work...true maybe not for everyone but if you are stable as a couple then there should be no problem.  One person can not be enticed away from another unless they want to go...and if they want to go then there's some other problem to start with!

Has anyone else realised the O/P is not there anymore ...

so I guess for some at least the answer is NO it doesn't work for some couples.

Totally agree, Blondie.

It's suprisingly bonding to have playdate and come home to tell the hubbie about it. I tend to think that the couple who can play, support each other, talk sensibly about it and be there for each other through the ups and downs of swinging can go on to deal with any issue that comes their way.

It's true, it's not for eveyone. But if you're already in super tight, stable and supportive relationship, swinging should only serve to cement your closeness. That's our experience anyway!

They do last,,,,,been swinging together for a while and suggest other married couples for 30 yrs, do swing as a couple.

Been happening for hundreds for yrs.

Why your question when u are not couple?