Criteria's...

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Criteria's...

Jun 21, 2012
Jay_Me   Man 52yrs
Just sitting here thinking about how hard it is for people to meet.  With all the different criteria we have' its a wonder anyone gets to meet anyone at all..  ?
Must admit' we're just as guilty as the next person, but we hate to think other peoples criteria excludes us. lol...  Thats human nature I guess..
You can see as many pic's as you like, but until meeting in the flesh, who really knows...  This is where meet and greets come into their own.. Chatting and getting a feel for each other to see if we're compatible cant be a bad thing...
I dont mean one on one meets' but a group of like minded couples who share a common requirement...  selected singles included..
Just recently'  for the first time in my life' I was asked to watch while a girl and Mrs JJ enjoyed themself.. Mrs JJ wasnt happy with this arrangement so it never eventuated .  But had this girl been more mature and accepting ' things would probally have been different. But this is a sample of how criteria can be the catylist ...  we all have something that we do or dont want... Shame really' how many good people do we let slip by without knowing ???

But' how can we expect to get out there and enjoy ourselves with this bloody big shield we put up to protect us ?  Trouble is' we get complacent and accepting of '  thats just the way things are and it cant change.. ?

Maybe a meet and greet with speed dating is the go... lol..  least it would break the ice and get everyone laughing...
Jun 21, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
timandjane

criteria

A RHP profile is the 1st filter. If we are not attracted to the pics then finding out how great there personality is... (2nd step) is a wast of time.

Don't get me wrong the friendship is important to us when establishing a  regular playmate. If we are looking for JUST friends then looks has nothing to do with it but play friends its a different story. I'm sure we have said no to some great people that we would have got along with very well with (ticked all the boxes but no physical attraction). I don't think its harsh on RHP because if  we were looking for just new friendships we would join a social group. With RHP there is another dimension.

That said I have often thought it's a shame there wasn't a physical attraction after thinking they were great people. But its kind of hard to say to some one.. Oh we want to be friends but please keep your clothing on. Starting a friendship with rejection is just wrong in my mind.

Tim



Jun 21, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
amuse_bouche   Woman 23yrs

...

True maturity and acceptance involves respecting that another person has boundaries, as well as the ability to not take rejections to heart and allowing past matters to slide.
Jun 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
imported   Man 29yrs

true

I agree City kitty, you should always respect the boundaries of others and be mature. I much prefer a girl being honest with me on how she feels rather than try to protect my feelings. Rejection does hit me sometimes though
Jun 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
irish44you

.agreed!

Quoting 'City_Kitty'
    True maturity and acceptance involves respecting that another person has boundaries, as well as the ability to not take rejections to heart and allowing past matters to slide.    
truth!
Jun 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
justjuice   Couple Man 55yrs Woman 48yrs

City _Kitty

Criteria and boundries are one and the same...  This topic is about how " criteria"  " boundries "effects everyone in general'  not just one person.. If you read something else into it then you have missed the point... Rejections are part and parcel of what happens here on a daily basis.  Every thread posted in the forums is based on someone's experience.  So please' stop taking things personally...

Getting back to the topic..

My question is:  How many good people must we overlook because of the 'criteria' we bound ourselves to. ?  I know we have done it before and will probally do it again..  Should we be so harsh or should we all soften our approach...
Jun 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
50zcool

Criteria

It amazes me that you can come across a profile that just resonates, the looks, the body, general interests, sexual interests, life experience, the lot.
You craft an email that highlights these things, addresses common ground in your/their profile.
And get "sorry your not my type"

I have learned to trust my intuition about people and to put up as few barriers as possible to a good experience, but I wonder sometimes what such a respondent is thinking when they shut down a contact when so many boxes are ticked, surely a few exploratory emails can't hurt ?
I pity people who exist in such a confined space.
Jun 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Hesione

According to the Shorter Oxford

Criteria...how we judge,assess or identify the people we want to meet

 

 

Boundary....marking the limits of those relationshipsx Hugs H

 

 

Jun 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
mikeandshel   Couple Man 50yrs Woman 52yrs

umm

if we didnt have criteria and preferences, how would we ever find people we are attracted to? we dont think we are even halfway critical enough...........
Jun 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
MistressT   Woman 46yrs

Criteria and Boundaries are not the same

Our search criteria is a set of personal attributes that we require of another person before we initiate further interaction. Boundaries are our own set of rules that define how we or others act or behave.

City_Kitty is right. We should be respectful of others boundaries and personal preferences that delineate their search criteria. It doesn't sound like she is taking this thread personally at all and in fact I don't think anyone is. However as rejection is part of online networking and socialising I think we need to realise this before we start and learn to not take it personally.

Jay_Me, it was good to hear the word criteria used. To answer your question, yes I think meet and greets are a good way to meet people we may not normally meet due to our stringent criteria or "shield". When you think in terms of statistics the odds are are against you anyway. For instance - say we take a random couple with strict criteria. Out of 100 couples there are probably only half a dozen that meet their preferences as to location, sexual orientation, looks, habits etc. After meeting those six there are probably only two couples that they really want to play with. Now lets turn this around. Which of those two couples want to play with our randoms? Do either couple find our random couple fit their criteria? Same goes for singles that stick to strict preferences. The numbers are against them but more so for couples as both partners have to agree with another two people.

So I think people that have stringent guidelines are not making it easy for themselves. But that is their choice and to each their own.
Jun 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Hesione

In rhp world

Most of the people I have connected with live interstate.I answer all flirts and messages.I am prepared to meet most people who contact me,who fit my age criterion and who I have something in common with.

However this week alone, I agreed to meet two people and then they both cancelled.This happens quite often.

In the three months since I joined this site I have met four people.

It can be time consuming and disapointing but then you meet the one person who makes it all worthwhile...er well hopefully .

xHugs Hesione Eternal Optimist

 

Jun 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
countrymeat

wtf

from what ive been  reading on  here ,,unless you find a person a perfect 10..then you cant be bothered getting to know them.im a verage joe ,polite to every one i meet ,more then happy to show respect in the bedroom and like to pleasure as much as being pleasured..but in  the veiws i here im not good enough to reply to flirt or messages if i sent them.it read as if  a lot of you would hook up a with someone your attract to in  looks even though their brain  dead  egotistic and up themself..in answer to..if we didnt have a criteria and prefference,how  would we ever meet people were attracted to...you do it the old fashion way ..get off the computer ,get out in public and meet people face to face..
Jun 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
mikeandshel   Couple Man 50yrs Woman 52yrs

lol


Quoting 'bhappy2meatu'
    from what ive been  reading on  here ,,unless you find a person a perfect 10..then you cant be bothered getting to know them.im a verage joe ,polite to every one i meet ,more then happy to show respect in the bedroom and like to pleasure as much as being pleasured..but in  the veiws i here im not good enough to reply to flirt or messages if i sent them.it read as if  a lot of you would hook up a with someone your attract to in  looks even though their brain  dead  egotistic and up themself..in answer to..if we didnt have a criteria and prefference,how  would we ever meet people were attracted to...you do it the old fashion way ..get off the computer ,get out in public and meet people face to face..    
didn't you see that we are a couple?.....our criteria and preferences dont allow for 'average joes' , as we are here, like many others, to facilitate and indulge our fantasies....that means firstly finding someone attractive, and if we decide that appearances are paramount, isnt that our business?  this is the medium we use, it suits us, and if we find someone appealing, then we'll meet them, face to face, but at our leisure, and on our schedule.... if you feel you dont suit (which you dont) its then up to you as an adult, to deal with that in the proper way....with dignity and respect......
Jun 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
feloniusfossil

I can sympathise 50Z

Been there a few times myself, but attraction is attraction

and a "paper match" can mean so little.


There are so many things, so many variables, even something as

base as the mood she might be in at the time.


I think it's real "in the lap of the god's" meets Lotto type stuff.


You gotta be in it to win it though.


Here's hoping your lucky number comes up soon bud.



Cheers Felonius

Jun 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
neptune_drift   Man 29yrs

AAAARGH

AAAARGHCRITERIAISALREADYPLURALBUTEVENTHENYOUMADEITAPOSSESSIVENOUNAAAAGH!
*Ahem* Sorry. Has been driving me crazy.

But yes. It's interesting, I find myself a lot more open minded about potential partners here than I have been in the 'real world'. I wonder if my attitudes would change though if I was the one receiving the hundreds of messages a week, instead of the one vainly sending out the handful of messages and flirts?
Jun 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
feloniusfossil

JustJuice

Post of the week I think!


In the end though, people are people, and want what they want, good, bad or otherwise.

swimming against the tide isn't a healthy option.


You will never convince them otherwise, and it's pointless to try.


For myself, my only boundaries are do I like where your head is at, and a degree of smarts,

and of course some chemistry.....the most elusive and intangible of all ingredients.



Cheers Felonius

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