Proj J... hint: Wicker is Sooooo last season. I know I said I wouldn't interfere... yes.. Ok... I'll take my medicine and sit quietly. Yes Doc.

Hugs

Stalky

Miss B

- I spent some time in the library during my studies, but it was mainly to try and tune some nerdmeisters - man do they go off.  TBH most of the advice I give here is straight out of Dolly, as are my qualifications.

- I will compromise on 'Vamp'.  I'm pretty sure Minx comes before Cougar chronologically.  Is Vamp OK?

- Your outdoor setting is a quandry.. And there are many things to consider (including Stalky's post);

*Wood is more fashionable at the moment... however is usually slatted.  So sitting on it naked in summer can result in parallel welt marks.  If you're clever though you can use this method to develop a tan, but it's hard to line the slats up perfectly and there's a good chance you will end up looking like a pink zebra or, if you change positions, a chess board.

*Wicker is soooo last season.  But far cooler to sit on.  They are not without danger - again, if naked and you are not waxed, and/or are blessed with an 'outie' there is a danger of body parts / hair becoming 'interwoven' into the wicker design.  This is an uncomfortable situation (and can affect men also!).

Personally - I'd go wood with a shade sail.  Shade sails are still cool aren't they?.  I'm not familiar with Feng Shei, or any Chinese food for that matter.  I'd go the sweet and sour pork if push comes to shove though.

We agree completely on the flirt situation, but my cynical view of the reasons for their lameness usually results in the censors deleting my post.. so let's just agree to agree.

Good to hear back from a satisfied lady.   Hope this helps.

Jean Girard

Dean of Faculties and Facutickles.

Dear Professor Jean,

Why do spanked bottoms feel so exquisitely warm...... and what do I have to do to get one? :p

Hugs

Stalky

A sympathy root is still a root?? WTF has that got to do with

anything?....lol

I do believe Doc is sufferering from domestic blindness....

I got Stalky's q covered Doc, you rest up...

Dear Stalky: c'mere...bend over and I'll demonstrate

all the while explaining why spanked botty's feel..so...

deliciously..enticingly...mmmm...warm....

Mr Stalky,

To get a spanked one, just take a normal one - and spank it.  4 Beers and a Jaeger usually does the trick for me. 

Then as we say in Francois - Voila you've got yourself a spanked bottom.  What you do with it from here on in is entirely up to you (and relevant state and federal legislation). 

Capt. Girard.

xx

PS - I find all bottoms feel exquisitely warm. 

Quoting 'missbowpeek'

Dear Dr/ Prof (did you spend a lot of time in the library to accumulate so many titles) Thank you for your advice. However I disagree with point 3...minx is much better. I hope i am not being too difficult ( often disobedient and naughty but i try not to be difficult) but could i ask another question ? My little courtyard gets quite hot and i like to go naked there. Do you think a wicker outdoor setting or wood will suit best ? Or do I need a site visit from a Feng sui expert ?? Of course now that Mrs P has let me know that my house id littered in disintergrated people I dont feel quite so alone anymore and have taken to wearing clothes indoors even. Also....... Im bored with the flirt reply options. Menues change with the seasons why cant the flirts ?? None of them really suit. I mean if i sent the" You rock my socks off...." will he think i am offering to do his washing for him ? and as for "Im not santa..." very seasonal ! And whats the point of him sitting on my lap ?? Will he expect me to read him a story ? or "If i send you a message..." why not replace with " Heres my addy (insert addy) lets chat" "Loved your profile...." replace with "I just READ your profile and......(insert 15 words to show that you have) I like the "Yes, yes oh god yes" but shouldnt there be please somewhere in that ? very impolite. Pleas J can you make it better ??? Thanks in anticipation Miss b ps why does this text get all bunched up ???? isnt when i write it

Miss B

- I spent some time in the library during my studies, but it was mainly to try and tune some nerdmeisters - man do they go off.  TBH most of the advice I give here is straight out of Dolly, as are my qualifications.

- I will compromise on 'Vamp'.  I'm pretty sure Minx comes before Cougar chronologically.  Is Vamp OK?

- Your outdoor setting is a quandry.. And there are many things to consider (including Stalky's post);

*Wood is more fashionable at the moment... however is usually slatted.  So sitting on it naked in summer can result in parallel welt marks.  If you're clever though you can use this method to develop a tan, but it's hard to line the slats up perfectly and there's a good chance you will end up looking like a pink zebra or, if you change positions, a chess board.

*Wicker is soooo last season.  But far cooler to sit on.  They are also not without danger, if naked and you are not waxed, and/or are blessed with an 'outie' there is a danger of body parts / hair becoming 'interwoven' into the wicker design.  This is an uncomfortable situation (and can affect men also!).

Personally - I'd go wood with a shade sail.  Shade sails are still cool aren't they?. 

I'm not familiar with Feng Shei, or any Chinese food for that matter.  I'd go the sweet and sour pork if push comes to shove though.

We agree completely on the flirt situation, but my cynical view of the reasons for their lameness usually results in the censors deleting my post.. so let's just agree to agree.

Good to hear back from a satisfied lady.   Hope this helps.

Jean Girard

Dean of Faculties and Facutickles.

Dear Professor Jean Girard,

Dean of the Fukery of Faculties

My darling has a thing against commercialisation... for the last 26 years on Valentine's Day every year I have gifted her something with love and every year she returns the gift to the shop for a refund. I know she would be very dissapointed if I forget... and hey.. one of the bonuses for this system is that I could spend lots of cash safe in teh knowldege that she'll get it back. :p

One drawback is that she has never given me a Valentine's Day present.

a) Do men get Valentine's Day presents? If so.. should I expect something this year?

b) Should I short circuit all the bullshit this year and gift her the saved time by simply handing over some cash? 

Dear Prof Jean Girard,

OK so I get grass cutting in private.... I'm meant to cut my best mates down and anything goes right? I mean, I can really put the boot in 'cause they're never going to know are they? But when I do it in a public forum do you think I should still pretend to be a nice guy? I've seen some blokes doing that and it seems to work well for them but ut look sreally difficult.

So.... errr ... another thing.... should I be choosing besty's that I dont really like that much? You know I think you're pretty cute and so is Ridge... and it just doesn't feel right to..... you know... stick it to you while your back's turned like that... or am I over anal eyes in this?

Hugs

stalky

Valentines Day is a very tricky thing to get right.  I have friends in the SWAT bomb disposal unit, and quite frankly they would prefer a call out to a box with wires hooked up to an alarm clock to trying to get Valentines Day right.  At least with a bomb you know if you fuck things up you'll probably die.  Fucking up Valentines Day usually doesn't kill you, and that's why it's so much more scary.

You must be doing something right, given you have spent 26 Valentines Days together... have you considered giving her something different this year? 

Generally speaking, men shouldn't expect anything... in fact it takes away one very scary part of V Day... What I call "The Happy Look".  As a father you would be familiar with it from Fathers Day... a grimace on Fathers Day is almost expected of you... the same look on V Day has a whole new world of pain attached.  Think 'blind dentist with Parkinsons' type pain.

I wouldn't recommend cash as a gift. In my experience, the lady will usually graciously accept the cash AND expect a gift.  The method you're using at the moment is working well in my opinion. 

There's still heaps of time before the big day, enough time to apply for a job with the SWAT team - it is still safer.

Doc JG.

Hey again Stalky..

I had to dig deep into my Dolly magazine archives for some research on this one.  Personally I would always use the nice-as-pie approach when shafting my mates (or even people I don't knowl).  Regradless of whether it is in front of them, or a knife in the back scenario.

There are some basics, that will make it easy.  Firstly you need to practice over-the-top niceness.  Given your patience with Valentines Day gifts, I think you may require little to no practice in this area... 

The next key to shafting is to always maintain a nice persona, easiest way to do this is to use the passive-aggressive approach.  Online it is easier than you think, you just say whatever you like about them and put a smiley face at the end. 

 In the real world, use a similar approach... say whatever you like, nicely, then roll your eyes (even your lazy one).

Using my patented over-the-top niceness technique will drive even the nicest guy on Earth (think Vegetarian who donates to Oxfam nice) into a psycho rage directed at you.  This has two benefits

1 - You will always look like the good guy, and whatever you said was right... "look at that psycho go off, I'm sorry you had to see that side of him (/her) I'll give you a lift home love."

2 - Nice guys don't hit very hard, and 'bad boys' are usually so psycho they can't make contact.  The worst I've ever had is a blood nose, and I can get one of those by sneezing too hard. 

Hope this helps with your anal eyes.

Doc G.

PS - You better not be thinking about shafting me and going on this road trip with Ridge and leaving me behind.

PPS - Is Ridge OK....  I haven't heard from him.  Do you think he's snuck off to Darwin?  Sly dog.

PPPS - Did you notice the use of the smiley?

I'm fine Jeano. Just been laying low... Emma the trannie kinda knocked the wind outa me the other night we she got mad about my post.

I've been in trouble with trannies before - you really gotta watch yourself around them. I was chased by a dozen of them on mopeds on Pattaya Beach a couple of years ago. The trauma of it all came flooding back when Emma razzed me up. (I might need to call on your powers of healing to help me put it behind me... pardon the pun).

Turns out she's a good gal though and it's all good now    (Notice the use of the smilie)

And no need to worry, I haven't loaded up the van and left without you. We're a "triple" remember? I can't take on all those ladies on my own... I need you and the Stalk to tag in and out when I need a breather.

Thank Christ... I though Frack Me had got all impatient and dragged you into the wet patch pre-trip.

As for Trannies... at least you were being stalked by identified trannies.  I was having a search, clicked on a lady "Woman" in the description.  Looked at the pics, went "hello" to myself, read the profile (blatant self-plug *hello ladies... over here - guy that reads profiles - hello!!*) and in the profile they revealed they were a trannie.  Too late love, I mean dude... I'm already sporting a hard-on.

WTF??  Am I gay because she was attractive to me?  I mean not she - I guess he....  Aww fuck this - where's my labeler gone?

Hi Prof Jeano,

Thanks for your concern... It’s good to know someone out there is looking out for me ;)

Hey... I'm just watching the tennis... I might need to borrow your trannie labeller to label Serina Williams after I inspect what's under her bonnet. I'm still not convinced she is a female. Feck she's ugly.

To answer your question...

Are you gay because you got wood-duck while browsing the profiles of M2F trannies?

The short answer is "yes". However, I believe it largely depends on how quickly you recover from your state of arousal once you realise it is actually a man. Only you can answer that question. My tip... Be honest with yourself and embrace your feelings... which ever way you decide to swing.

Love Uncle Ridgie xx (Definitely a man)

Awwwww JG me was being a little trickerer wiv me question hehehehe.  Missy does not wear underwear on the weekends unless it is for a special sexy time occassion. Ya can spank me later for being mischievious.

Lix on ya bits

xxMiss Honeyxx

That's so embarrasing.... my first instinct was of course to go for 'none'.  But I was trying to be clever and now look like a rank amateur.

I still stand by the fact that factors such as a time difference and rhp censor delay may have altered the undie vibe I was receiving from over West and would like to state that although I look like a rank amateur at the moment... I am not.

Honest

Embarrasingly yours

Doc Girard.