I can't believe how many personal messages I receive asking for my advice. It is often people who don't think their topic deserves a whole forum thread, or people who really just want my advice... not the opinion of a pimply faced 22yo. So I have started this thread to help everyone get the real truth. I don't have tickets on myself, but suspect that this will possibly become bigger than Google.
What's your question for Jean Girard?
Dear lucky Jean......
Iif was to say "I'm thinking phhooooaaarrhhh right now"... what's my question? hehe
HUgs
Stalky
I have this recurring dream where I'm walking through Hurstville in a pair of Manly Sea-Eagles shorts, high heels, red lipstick blue eye shadow?
Can you tell me what it means?
For the record Ridge.... I would never wear bright red lipstick.. that's a younger girl's colour. :p
Hugs
My new sofa for my office arrived today. It's brown leather and it looks really nice in my office. The problem is ... every time I look at it, I get very horny and want to fuck the next male I see. I don't know if it's because I can finally have sex in my office without being bent over my desk or whether it has something to do with the brown leather.
I would like to be able to use the sofa for its intended use... that being to sit on, not fuck on. But right now I can't even look at it without getting wet.
Please help me...what should I do?
Yours, Ms Rawhide.
Hi Saturn,
This is a classic case of a subservient relationship. That sofa has it all over you..It's sitting there, flexing its biceps all smarmy with a cheeky grin on its face knowing the power it has over you. This is a dangerous relationship, at the moment you'll do anything for that sofa and it knows it. "Kill a man!", "No problem" you'd say. "Buy me a drink", "Here you go". I have done a lot of work in this area... in fact everytime I go out with an attractive woman I learn a little more about subservience... but I digress (often). But I also had an examination table that treated me like this.
What you need to do is teach that sofa a lesson. Currently, it thinks everything's going to be cruisy at this new job... "a few people sit on me now and then but other than that - I'm in a nice office and I can get that chick (you) to do whatever I want... hehe - look how wet she's getting just looking at me. Man this is gonna be good. Who's the boss bitch? Who's the boss? I AM!"
How do you reverse this? How do you get on top? You need to teach that sofa a lesson in debauchery! The sooner it realises that days aren't going to be all beer and skittles, and that at any time of day it could have knees, elbows, naked butts and boobs pressed into it and bodily fluids and massage oils spilt onto it, the sooner it will realise that you have the upper hand..
In my experience, sofas are slow learners... This could take one, two hour session or several reps. But by the end of it, it will shudder and look down when you walk near, and more importantly, you'll still get wet when you look at it... but for all the right reasons.
If this doesn't work, get some fold out chairs.
Yours in leatherness
Doc Girard
So Jean.....what colour panties do I have on?? hmmm??
Correct ansa and ya can sneak in between the sheets on Valentines day, and have ya first lesson hehe with me and Headmaster teehee.
*Bottie wiggles*
xx Miss Honey xx <<<< is in the cheekiest mood today
But your ear doesn't hurt anymore?
I'll log you as another satisfied customer.
DJG xx
Jean... that's a poxy answer for Miss_Spelled. You're supposed to deflect all the female misfits in my direction remember? Jeese.. some kind of wingman you turn out to be! Do that one again.. and this time... dont forget to mention your buddy. :p
Miss Honey,
This is a setup... between the timing of posts thanks to RHP censors, and the presumed regular lack of panties covering that wriggling bottie and a three hour time difference; I am doomed.
I am going for white. *fingers crossed*.. despite your cheekiness I am getting a 'lil miss goody goody vibe' in the breeze.
Doc JG
Stalky....
This young lady has finally found happiness... Look how many girls are waiting for the "Marry me tomorrow" flirt and are still waiting with an inbox full of "You're top of my to do list" flirts - I think she deserves a shot at happily married and things look to be going well.
Besides, my plan was always to get an invite to the wedding with you as my partner. I know how much you like a group of bridesmaids... what do you call them again? *hi 5*
Save your thanks for the reception.
Doc G
PS - Between you and me, she seems a bit clingy too.
Jean... that's a poxy answer for Miss_Spelled. Stalky
And thankyou for bringing back the word poxy. Where'd you find that?
It's so pox! Man that's poxy.
lmfao... Thanks Jean.. a moment of madness.... you're right. You're always right! Hmmmm.. Hi Five, huh? Yep.. "poxy" is right up there with "engorged" and "milky" as some of my favourite words.
Can you tell me why I can't get a room full of nubile naked women when on holidays? Heck - tell me why I can't get them at home?
Signed... "Wayne aka wishing he was not alone tonight"
I haven't got much too go on here Wayne.... What methods are you currently using? - perhaps we can identify a shortcoming in them.
First thought - On holidays, are you ticking the 'room full of nubile women' box on the brekky menu or just the 'continental breakfast' one?
Professor Gerard.
Dear Doc
Why is it men are such whingers?
I've been on holidays for the first time in three years and only once managed to
score a FWB or is that a BB....FB..whatever..on two occassions...47 second
dude doesnt count...
Anna...the slightly rotund avacado
Wayne... 4 beers is all it takes to resolve this issue.... hehe. I mean anyway.... who hasnt woken up the next day and said "What was I thinking"... lmfao. Does my bum look big in this? hehe.
Sorry Doc.... errrr.... no I dont have a licence to practice.. well... I'm sorry OK... Yep.. it will never happen again. NO! I am not the 47 second guy.. jeese Jean! :p
Hi Anna,
Because a sympathy root is still a root.
Prof JG.
PS - I always recommend everyone 'Add an Avo' to their diet. Rotund or otherwise.
Oh hey - you make for a handsome intern, so don't apologise... although I'm currently seeking and interviewing for sexy interns. Just putting an ad together. Is it OK to discriminate against men? PPhht - Rules Shmules.
Prof. Girard