We go through our adult life looking for the one..Then when we think we have found it , we let it go..I have had many great sexual partners but is it more lust than love..Are we really meant to be with one sexual partner during a long relationship?
So your "simple Yes" is really a "NO" then isn't it UBD2009......
Perhaps you fail to recognise the subtle difference between the two alternatives... Yes.... meaning yes, we really are meant to be with one sexual partner... or no.... meaning we are meant to be with more than one sexual partner....
OK.. I guess I confused you... Im typing as slowly as I can to make it easier.... Alright... perhaps the question is too difficult for you and you should ask your husband what it means. :p
Hugs Stalky
hi there...just thought id share with anyone thats interested a great book i am reading.
OPEN..love,sex,and life in an open marriage. by Jenny Block.
It has been answering many of the questions and some fears that i may have(or still have)
about this choice of lifestyle we have made.
It is frome the point of view of a woman who loves her husband, loves her life and family,
but feels there is something missing for her. She confronts her husband who is very deffensive
at first,but comes around in the end.
i am toally loving the book and its very easy to read...
anyway must go put kids to bed so i can read chapter6..having our cake and eating it too.
and if you get a chance to read it i hope you find it can answer some of those tough questions that
pop up from time to time...
xx ms cream
In the animal kingdom there are animals that mate for life and animals that mate with the most likely to bare offspring.
I completely agree with gent_oldschool - One partner for life, but not one sexual partner. I could not have said that 2 years ago, but life, maturity and being honest with myself has opened my mind. My partner and I are committed to each other emotionally, mentally, spiritually and lovingly... but not sexually. Sex with other people is just sex... we walk out the door and our minds immediately revert back to each other. But together we make love and are passionate and emotionally connected.... that is where the difference lies. The only potential problem is if the person you are 'just having sex with' decides it's more than sex to them. We make it abundantly clear upfront that with anyone else it IS just sex and will only ever BE just sex. We also don't make a habit of seeing the same person very often and prefer playing with couples or having MMF or FFM together.
Mrs D
In a long term relationship, the love grows out of lust. It takes many years to form the sort of commitment and trust that is part of love. This love at first sight is only lust but can also be built upon over time. I would like nothing more than to wake up to the same man every day and go to sleep at night with that same man by my side. Sex gets better, the more you know your partner. You learn more about what makes thier body hum.
How ever, life is never perfect. It is entirely possible to have a long term monogomous relationship but to expect to love only once in a life time is totally unrealistic. What if your partner dies young? Are you then to be alone for the rest of your life?
What if your partner suffers a debilitating disease and sex is no longer an option for them? Are you to go without this basic comfort because of it?
The forum is right. There is no one size fits all situation. Love can grow over time but a realtionship can also wither and die without the effort put in to maintain it. If we go into a commitment expecting it not to last, well do not be surprized when it does fail. After all, anything worh having is worh putting in the extra effort for.
Probably not.....I remember reading something like 60% of guys cheat and 80% would if they could get away with it...not sure about the women.
Divorce rates are usually over 50% too.